How Women Turned on Tea, the Viral App Where They Can ‘Review’ Men They’ve Dated

What even is the Tea app?

The full name of the app is Tea Dating Advice, but don’t let the formal branding fool you: This app is here to spill it. Created in 2024, Tea says its mission is to “revolutionize dating safety by equipping women with cutting-edge tools, real-time insights, and a powerful community to navigate the modern dating world with confidence and control.” Translation: They want to help you clock a liar before he ruins your credit score.

According to the description from app’s About page:

At its core, Tea is built on one fundamental belief: Women should never have to compromise their safety while dating.
With features like Reverse Image Search to catch catfish, Phone Number Lookup to check for hidden marriages, and Background Checks to uncover criminal records, Tea ensures that women have the information they need before meeting someone new. Beyond safety tools, Tea fosters the largest women’s group chat in the U.S., where users share experiences, anonymous dating reviews, and support.

It sounds noble on the surface, and, to some degree, it is. The app came in riding the wave of online dating burnout and the success of Facebook groups like “Are We Dating the Same Guy?” But it’s taken the concept further.

Who made this app? And why?

You might assume a viral app helping women dodge red flags was made by, well, women. But plot twist: It wasn’t.

According to the official Tea website, the app’s founder is Sean Cook, who launched the project after, he said, his mom had a terrifying online dating experience. Not only was she catfished, but Cook says she unknowingly talked to men “with criminal records.”

So, no, it’s not exactly “by women, for women,” but it does have a mission rooted in personal stakes. Tea markets itself as a solution to modern dating hazards. And, to be fair, it might have started that way. 

How do you use Tea?

Getting on Tea feels a little bit like getting into Basement some nights: exclusive, anonymous, and with a waitlist. You have to create a screen name, and you might be stuck in limbo for a day or two before you’re let in. Some users have said on TikTok inviting friends to the app can get you bumped to the front of the line. 

Once inside, it’s like Yelp for men. Post a pic of the guy you're vetting. Search his name or nickname. Then scroll through the tea: comments, green flags, red flags, and anonymous notes from other women. The goal is to identify red flags before you get emotionally attached to someone who says his job is “entrepreneur” but lives with his ex.

You can even turn on notifications, because who wouldn’t want a ping every time someone posts a cautionary tale about your situationship?

How did it spiral out of control?

The app was supposed to be about safety and accountability, but it’s now being used to air out exes, roast bedroom performance, and drag people for being broke, boring, or emotionally unavailable. People have definitely lost the plot. 

Instead of quietly using the app to verify if that guy with the “entrepreneur” job title is a fraud, some women are taking screenshots and sending them directly to the men featured. 

Others are treating it like social media tea-spill, dragging names into group chats and watching the chaos unfold. The men, unsurprisingly, are not taking this lying down. While some joke about being on the app, others apparently tried launching their own version of Tea, which, according to TikTok, only lasted less than 24 hours imploded in less than 24 hours. 

Some men are unbothered. Some are mortified. Others are mad their female friends didn’t defend them. One user summed it up perfectly: “Nah I commented in a man’s defense and he texted me cursing me smooth out for even participating. I’m out 😂”

To make things messier, men are flipping the script, saying the app is more for women to be using and knowingly dating sketchy guys.

Basically, Tea is no longer about safety. It’s about spectacle.

How have women turned on the app?

While Tea was supposedly built on the idea of being a “girl’s girl,” more and more women are beginning to question not just the app but the culture it’s fostering. What was once a tool for accountability has started to feel like a space for judgment. Just like it did this last season of Love Island USA, the sisterhood is cracking, and a new tone has: one of critique, comparison, and quiet disdain. The same app meant to help women protect each other is now being used to call out their standards—and sometimes each other.

On TikTok, user @danad1987 didn’t mince words:

“Y’all are showing just how low vibrational the men y’all have to pick from are,” she said in a video. “You can’t sit up and say you got all these options, and yet these are the men you’re picking. It’s because this is all you have to pick from.”

There’s a growing sentiment that the app has become a reflection of questionable choices, and that many of the men being “warned about” were red flags from the jump, but women dated them anyway.

The backlash has triggered numerous questions—most notably: Has the “girl’s girl” era, which championed loyalty, softness, and mutual uplift, quietly expired in favor of an aesthetic that’s easier to post than practice?